Ready for Valentine's Day?

Another cultural holiday is upon us. I wanted to take an opportunity to consider not just our significant other, if we have one, but all of those we love. When we think of all of the people in our lives to whom we express love, how do we do this? What are the ways that we show our mate, parents, close friends, siblings, children, and grandchildren our warm regard and appreciation?

Gary Chapman termed the "5 Love Languages" in his 1995 book so named. They are:

• Words of Affirmation
• Acts of Service
• Receiving Gifts
• Quality Time
• Physical Touch

Take a look at the list. Which do you think you want to receive? Which do you think are most often employed in your relationships? There is a questionnaire at 5lovelanguages.com. You will discover your top three in order of importance.

I love to observe people and how they interact with one another outside of a business or work environment. No matter what age or gender, we all have ways of showing each other that we care, that we are important to one another. Can you imagine an infant not receiving physical touch? Studies show how detrimental this can be. In any of our relationships, showing positive regard is essential. And more importantly, how does the significant other receive what we interpret as giving love in their language? "Words of Affirmation" constitute a strong relationship builder when sincere. If touch is important to one person and not the other, chances are that neither will be very satisfied. A squeeze showing appreciation could be interpreted as a "bother."

The adage "Money isn't everything" would apply to "Acts of Service" and "Quality Time." We show our regard by doing things for and with someone. Our attention is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and to others. Being present with someone is a wonderful gift. Before they were married, one of my friend's now-husband would take her car, have it washed, fill up the tank, and return it to her weekly. She got that he was doing a wonderful act of service for her. Yet it inconvenienced her when he had the car.

The next category, "Receiving Gifts": so many of us love to receive gifts. We also like to know that thought went into the gift, that it is something especially for us. When we give what we think will please based on our own likes and dislikes, our assumptions, we don't always hit the mark with the person to whom we want to show appreciation.

I bring this up because we are in the throes of another Valentine's Day. I wanted to underline that there are so many ways to show love to those we cherish. Love is a bounty that knows no bonds. Part of being happy and well adjusted is loving and being loved by family and friends.

Here's hoping you will give this some consideration, some exploration and conversation, so that your relationships will be enhanced in the process. Love and affection do create health-enhancing hormones!

Whispers of the Breath Diva:

In this moment, I open to giving and receiving Love!